This Is Where I Am At

This is where I am at. My mother just had two more strokes that have left her almost unable to walk even with a walker. The doctor had prescribed medicine to help prevent strokes and even though I lay out the pills both my mother and father take during a day to assure they are getting the correct medicine, my mother stopped taking the pill to prevent strokes. I didn’t know this. Every day all the pills I laid out for morning, noon and night were always gone. I assumed she was taking it. Instead she was throwing it in the garbage bin.

My father who has one kidney that is working at about 30% has stopped seeing his kidney doctor because he has taken a sudden dislike to one of the nicest doctors I have ever met. My father has dementia and is often difficult to deal with. I can’t force him to go to the doctor. At the same time my mother had her two strokes, both in a 5 hour period, dad fell ill with the usual urinary infection he gets that has landed him in the hospital 6 times already. I had to fight with him to go to his regular doctor and get the blood and urine tests to confirm the diagnosis. At the time his fever was at 102 degrees. This infection, which he lets run rampant in his system has nearly killed him twice because he refused medical attention. Taking him to the doctor meant leaving my mother alone because I was unable to get her to the car to go with us due to the strokes.

I put her in bed and told her to stay their until dad and I got back. I also asked her to contact her doctor and tell him what happened. She refused to do the latter and even at this moment she still has not contacted him. I can’t call her doctor because he doesn’t accept calls from non-patients. He doesn’t really accept calls from his patients either but I thought having two strokes in one day may be significant enough to get the nurse to put her through to him. She refuses to take the medicine for strokes because it makes her mouth dry and her hair dry. I try to tell her these are minor issues and both can be remedied with conditioner for her hair and stuff for dry mouths. She refuses to cooperate.

Today is going to be another struggle with them. Mom can no longer use the shower/bath tub as she can’t lift her legs to get into the tub. We need to install a walk in shower for a handicapped person with railings and seating. Both mom and dad are fighting me on this saying they are not going to live long enough to make real use of it. This from people who bathe every day.

I am doing my best to try and keep them in their house as long as possible. They refuse to have any nursing assistant or medical care person come in and help them. This is where I am at and it feels pretty miserable.