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Archive for October, 2018

I’ve been rather busy recuperating from a little set-to with a Great Blue Heron. This one is not Hank. I haven’t seen Hank for at least a year now. No, this one is the most arrogant, defiant, and aggressive heron I’ve come across and he has decimated the fish and frog life in our pond. Mind you, most of the fish in the pond were raised by hand by me and had bred generation after generation. They were truly beautiful to watch. That’s all gone now.

The moment I saw this heron carefully stalking in the water of the pond I was on him in a flash. I ran down to the pond to scare him away and instead he stood his ground in the middle of the pond. It was impossible to reach him without going in myself. I also noticed that he must have been there for some time since the fish population was already half of what it was.

We had had a wind storm the night before and numerous dead tree branches and limbs were scattered about the yard. I found a nice long big one, hefted it up and used it to span the distance between me and the heron. I gave him a good poke with it. He jumped out of the pond and landed beside me. That’s when things went, shall we say, downhill for me.

I dropped the branch basically because I couldn’t hold it any longer. I turned to the heron got up is his face and said “Get out of here!” He didn’t even flinch. That should have been clue number two that I was dealing with an insane brash bird. Instead, thinking of all the fish the little pig ate while being mindful that this is a federally protected species, I shoved him and said “Go on!” That’s when he counter attacked. He sliced open a long deep line on my left arm; the side of my mastectomy. I am not suppose to even get scratches on the arm because I have no immune protection in it since I have no lymph nodes there. I lost my temper.

In full view of our down the hill neighbors who were sitting on their deck avidly watching, the heron and I began to wrestle. I went for his long neck determined to make him cough up every one of my fish that he ate. He ducked and smacked me with his large wing right in the face. He used his beak again to slice another line in my left arm, as if he intuitively knew that was my weaker side. I decided to play linebacker and lunged to tackle him. He moved and flew up and away. I, on the other hand, having missed the tackle landed in the pond, my left arm covered in mud, blood, and whatever else one can find in a pond.

To make a long story short. I came back to the house. The Skipper was very concerned when he saw me. We had no hydrogen peroxide to clean the wound on my arm or the scratches on my face. My left eye was puffing up with a slight bruise. So I had to pour rubbing alcohol into the wound on my arm. To say it hurt would be an understatement. It was like going through surgery without anesthesia.

Finally I decided I need a doctor to see to the wound. I couldn’t stop the bleeding, though at first I thought this was a plus as it would clean out the wound. Not wanting the ER I went to the local urgent care two towns over. The Skipper took me. When we walked in I could tell that because of how I looked they thought this was some domestic abuse incident. It took me a bit to get them to believe that no, it wasn’t domestic abuse. I had gone toe to toe with a heron over pond fish.

When I told them I had the mastectomy and how many lymph nodes I was missing on the arm with the slice, they became very quiet and intense. The upshot was a ton of cleaning and closing the arm wound, ice pack for the eye, a tetanus shot with whooping cough thrown in in my right arm, and while I was there I got the flu shot in my derriere.

By the time I left with my heavily bandaged left arm, a right arm that was in searing pain courtesy of the tetanus shot, and a derriere that was not comfortable to sit on I was pretty much done for the day.

While waiting for the wound to heal I haven’t been able to do much spinning or knitting. The left arm experienced some swelling, but the tight bandages kept it to a minimum. I’m healing nicely and thought I might start knitting again today and see how the left arm responds. I thought this while looking out the window of the now decimated pond. While I was watching guess who flew in? He’s back. Knitting has been put on hold while I try and figure out how I am going to¬†murder deter this bird.

 

 

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