Archive for February 26th, 2014

The knitting of the Spring Sweater is near its end, and I am near mine along with it. The final stage of sweater making, after the body and sleeves are complete, is always full of Sturm und Drang (translated here as storm and stress) for me. It’s high opera at it’s most over played best: the point where the lead character is toast but doesn’t have the decency to lay down and die so she continues to sing for another whole Act. That’s where I’m at.

First, I need to find a cable needle the correct size and length to pick up stitches along the fronts and around the neck. This means hunting through the yarn vaults with one hand and keeping Yarn Rascal at bay with the other. Bamboo cable needles are valuable additions to his stock portfolio. None of the cable needles are in packages so I can’t tell size and length at a glance. I will need to gather them together near a bright light and peer at them with a magnifying glass to see the size stamped or not stamped on their sides. This means I need to hunt for the magnifying glass, which I last used when setting the rhinestones on the trucks to mimic headlights and running lights. However, it doesn’t mean it’s in the last place that I used it. So my first step really, is to find the magnifying glass and then rummage the yarn vaults while fighting off Yarn Rascal’s attempts to procure goodies.

Once I do all that and discover that I don’t have the correct needle size in the correct length to pick up and knit a gazillion stitches around the neck and fronts I’m going to weep, moan and stagger down the stairs and into the living room, fall onto the couch, look up to the heavens and ask “Why??? Why can’t anything I do just be simple?” Then it will hit me that the sweater needs to be done by 28 February which is this Friday. I will have a short, but effective panic attack.

At this point, it will also come to me that I don’t have buttons for the sweater. A migraine will ease from the back of my head and set up residence just behind my eyes. Buttons are a problem for me. I don’t like putting a lot of buttons on a sweater. The number the sweater calls for is 7 or 8. That’s way too many for me. Okay. So how many buttons do I button when I wear a sweater? I don’t know. I haven’t worn a cardigan in years. I wear my knit shawls. The migraine will increase incrementally along with the number of times I try to figure out this conundrum.

I’m toast, and I need to lie down and accept it.

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